[Society/Language] But It’s Not Really Sex… Is It?

Three minutes ago I was sitting on the bus. For the second time this month I heard young people talking about what constitutes sex. Both times they were talking about whether or not anal sex counts as sex and in both cases the results came back the same, the girls decided it did not count as sex and the guys were happy either way.

Anal sex is not the only intimate physical act who’s status is in question; President of the United States of America William Jefferson Clinton’s libido and lack of will power set a problematic precedent. Oral sex is now even less often considered sex than anal sex is and thanks to its ease and the fact that it requires less time, privacy, and preparation it is even less so than ever.

It is interesting that these people who question whether an activity is sex or not seem to miss the fact that the word sex is part of the name. It sounds like a case of selective blindness to me, they only see what they want, what allows them to do what they want without conflict.

Some even go so far as to look up the word sex in the dictionary. They grab a dictionary, flip to SEX, are then directed to COPULATE, COITUS, or any number of synonyms, and invariably end up at INTERCOURSE. Once there, they are presented with a definition describing penis-in-vagina thrusting. They then conclude that because the activity in question is not penis-in-vagina thrusting, it is not intercourse, and therefore not sex. That’s quite a feat of logic and reasoning for someone who no doubt is not all that intelligent. Had they been intelligent, they would have realized that the dictionary started by Merriam Webster, Encyclopedia Britannica, or whom have you was created hundreds of years ago. Back then penis-in-vagina was the only kind of sex there was; that’s why that is the definition given. Other forms of sex were rare, private, and in fact secret at best. (If one has doubt about this, then one should do a little research on the Marquis de Sade.) If the dictionary founder had been informed of these other forms of sex where other body parts are inserted into other body parts, then they would no doubt first have been horrified and disgusted (presumably), and then when told that there are more than just one person in the world doing them would have expanded the definition to include them all.

If one has a doubt on if an activity is sex or not and is honestly interested in the answer rather than merely trying to justify messing around without guilt then it is easier to determine than one would be led to believe. If you can answer yes to more than one of these factors then the activity is indeed sex:

  1. Are genitals involved?
  2. Is there some sort of pleasure?
  3. Is there some sort of orgasm?
  4. Is there more physical rubbing than what would occur in a crowd or bus?
  5. Is there nudity involved?
  6. Is it private?
  7. Are there bodily fluids/solids?

On top of this ask yourself, would you do this activity with your mother/father? sibling? son/daughter? grandparent? a random stranger? etc? If so, then either it is probably not really sex, or you are one sick s.o.b. 😀