Back to the abusive ex

I was hopeful that leaving Rogers would be good.

Nope. Distributel was horrible. After about a year, the piece-of-junk SMART/RG cable-modem they sent started randomly rebooting every a few times a month for a couple of months, then it started randomly rebooting a few times a week, then per day, then per hour. Eventually, it got to the point where it would reboot before it even finished re-connecting. I wasted many hours on the phone with them, trying to get them to accept that it’s defective and their useless “diagnostic” steps wouldn’t fix a hardware problem. After three weeks of suffering with it, they finally agree to send a replacement. They send the same model. After about a year, the exact same problem.

In the meantime, they kept raising the price every few months, completely ignoring the “contract”, just like Rogers would do. Every time I had to call and get them to make a new deal/bundle, but they would always keep randomly increasing it every now and then.

After the third year, I couldn’t convince them to give any discounts or bundles or deals or anything. I argued with them about their garbage prices and trash website that shows a fake price they don’t actually charge. They said it’s only for new customers. I said their site ONLY shows that price and no “regular price”. They didn’t acknowledge their fraud. I said maybe I should cancel my services and maybe consider coming back in a few years as new customer. 😒

Fortunately, I happened to see an ad in the newspaper about Rogers’ “Connected for Success” program for low-income people. I contacted them and was approved. I called Distributel to cancel EVERYTHING. They put up a fight but I told them to go to hell.

Rogers said they couldn’t transfer my old landline phone-number for a few days (I guess there’s a delay until it’s de-registered from Distributel). They said they could install the Internet on Monday. They also said I would HAVE to get the TV service to get the home-phone for some BS reason. All of Rogers’ services are Internet now, the Internet is obviously, their home-phone always was VoIP, and now, even their TV service isn’t cable, it’s Internet-TV. There was no reason I needed the TV to get home-phone, it’s just their typical fraud garbage. 😠

I had no Internet at all on the weekend (technically, the Distributel Internet and phone were still working for three weeks after they were supposed to disconnect them; just more examples of their incompetence—fortunately they didn’t charge me past the cancellation date).

They came and installed the Internet and TV on Monday. The TV service was worthless. It’s a small PVR box which only has HDMI, so I couldn’t connect it to the CRT TV, and I need the HDMI TV as my computer monitor. I tried connecting it to the laptop through an HDMI-USB adapter, but the cheap Chinese junk was awful, so it wasn’t useful. Worse, there were ZERO channels worth watching. Getting ANY channels worth watching would have incurred huge extra charges.

Wednesday came and went and I didn’t call to follow up to get the old phone-number. Eventually, it was too late. Someone else probably has it now. I have no idea how many people and places have the old number we had for the past 25 years. I don’t even know who to update. The pharmacy didn’t call when my prescription was ready because they had the old number.

After wasting money, paying double the bill I was expecting for two months, I called Rogers and cancelled the TV service. I returned the TV box on the day that Rogers had their second country-wide Internet outage in 1.5 years. 😒

I accidentally paid that double-sized bill twice. I keep doing that, I schedule bill payments, not noticing I already did it for that month; I usually catch it in time, but Rogers slipped through. I didn’t have to pay again for 3.5 months.

Now, I just need to get insurance that ISN’T 4.5× what I should be paying and maybe I can start saving money again. 😠

I feel like a battered woman who went back to her abuser, but that’s how it is in North America. 🤦

My life is all or nothing, always extremes

I’ve always been about balance and moderation. I’m a rational person and don’t believe in astrology, but I find it an amusing coincidence that I’m a Libra.

That said, a long time ago, I notice and pointed out to my mother that our lives were weird, that we either have none of something or a lot of it. Now that I’m alone, I see that pattern wasn’t specific to her (since she was the one who did the shopping), it applies to me (or at least, me as well; maybe I just inherited her shopping habits).

I first noticed it with foods, like cookies, but it applies to everything.

I either have zero chips, or 100 bags of chips (I’m down to maybe 30 now).
I either have zero ice-cream, or 40 cartons of ice-cream (I’m down to maybe 30 now).
I either have zero spare USB keyboards, or 30 USB keyboards (I can’t find one I like).
I either have zero CCTV cameras, or I have four CCTV cameras (technically five).
I either have zero PS3 games, or I have 300 PS3 games (and still have played none).
I either have zero girlfriends, or… um… okay, maybe it doesn’t apply to everything. 🤷

I’ve broken; I like exercise? 😕

Three weeks ago today, the LTC started collecting fares again (since the pandemic started, they had to stop collecting fares because they had to make riders board from the read door to avoid infecting the drivers). Since then, I’ve avoided using the bus because they were awful (late, early, unreliable, etc.) before the pandemic, let alone during the pandemic, and while it was tolerable while it was free, I’m definitely not inclined to pay for terrible service.

I haven’t had to go out in the past three weeks, but I did take my bike acorss town to get a 4L tub of ice-milk (ice-cream with less fat) that was on sale at No Frills. It was a 20-30 minute ride there and again back, and yes, it was uphill both ways (there’s a hill, so I have to go up in each direction). I wasn’t sure I’d make it, but I did, and after that, I was so excited, that I biked down to FreshCo to get a couple of bottles of laundry detergent that were on sale, which turned out to be bigger and heavier than I expected, yet I still made it.

I was really getting excited and pumped about being able to ride my bike long distances and actually go grocery-shopping with it (I don’t have a basket; I put stuff in a backpack and if necessary, a “frontpack”).

This morning, the weirdest thing happened. I was getting ready to go to FreshCo to get some produce, and had the thought that instead of crossing the road and then going down towards FreshCo like I did the last few times, I could go down the road first and then cross the road and see this side of the road. Suddenly, I got an surprising and strong urge to hurry up and get going.

After I got home, showered, ate lunch, sat and unwound while watching YouTube videos, getting drowsy and recovering from the hard ride, I was looking at the online flyers and map and figuring out what’s on sale where next week to decide where I can/should go. It turned out that next week’s shopping is (thankfully) relatively light (both in quantity and weight). I need to go to No Frills and Giant Tiger to get a few vegetables, so that’s a light, if long trip. Likewise, I need to get apples and a couple of vegetables from FreshCo, so that’s barely anything at this point.

The big boy is getting a 10lb bag of onions from Food Basics. It’s the lowest price I’ve seen for onions in a long time, so I have to get it (and in fact, feel tempted to get two). In addition, they’ve got those large cans of Chunky soups and stews on sale at the lowest price I’ve seen those, so I want to get a lot of those (at least two of each kind—except for the seafood ones 🤢).

The problem is that Food Basics happens to be the farthest of all of the stores I frequent. It’s pretty darn far. It’s a 30 minute bike ride, and has at least a couple of hills on the way which I have to go up in each direction. Returning with 10-30 pounds of extra weight is a very daunting thought. That said, I remembered that the first time I biked to No Frills, I missed the turn at Cheapside st. and ended up going all the way to Oxford and then back up to No Frills. Food Basics at Oxford and Highbury and I passed it on my way to No Frills. Moreover, when I went yesterday, I almost missed the turn to Cheapside and could see Oxford down the road and realized it wasn’t as far as I thought. Thinking of this, as well as how close Highbury felt yesterday, I realized that Food Basics now feels closer than before, so I was suddenly excited to go.

I then decided to look up thrift stores in town to see if I can thrift for old video-games and found that there were four places on the way of a round-trip that hits FreshCo, Food Basics, and No Frills, so I definitely intend to check them the next time I go out. And then boom! I felt a strong compulsion to get dressed and jump on my bike and go. I didn’t (there’s no rush; I have a full week to get to get to them all), but I definitely felt the urge to go and even felt impatience around dinner time when the sun was starting get lower because tomorrow was still too far. 😕

What the heck is happening? Why am I so eager to ride hard and long distance on my bike? Am I turning into someone who likes exercise? 🤨

(For the record, no, it’s just that this still feels novel, like when I set up the elliptical in my room or brought the weights up. I was just as eager to do cardio and lift weights for a while, until the novelty eventually wore off. I’m sure I’ll eventually lose interest in riding my bike too. Then again, I’ve been riding my bike now and then in the summer for the past few years, but now I’m exceptionally eager, especially for going shopping and the extra weight of the groceries. 🤔 I think it’s mostly due to the feeling of freedom. Driving makes me uncomfortable because of the cost of gas, worrying about police, worrying about car problems, worrying about other drivers, etc., and the bus is just awful for many reasons, so maybe feeling free to come and go whenever I want without any concerns just feels liberating, and that’s what feels so good. 🤷 Also, I’m probably hoping that riding hard will help me lose weight and get in shape faster, which feels good because the extensive dieting and exercising I’ve been doing for the past several months haven’t been helping too much. :-|)

Our school lost the pay-phone because of phreaking

When I was in middle-school, a rumor went around that you could make free long-distance calls by dialing 9-9-1 before the phone-number because it was some sort of phone-company code. I don’t know if that was true, if someone was trolling, or it was just a misunderstanding of stories about phreaking with the Cap’n Crunch whistle, but a bunch of kids tried it. I doubt it worked (I think I might have tried it from a payphone in the street once, but definitely didn’t get it to work), but enough kids in our school tried it with the pay-phone at school but did it wrong and dialed 9-1-1 instead of 9-9-1, that 911 complained to the school, and the principal had the phone removed. 🤦

Miserable day out during pandemic


Unfortunately I had to go out today to get some stuff before hunkering down for the duration of the quarantine. I didn’t want to go out, but stupid No Frills caused me so many problems that I kept having to go back several times this week. In fact, I’ve been out more times this week (during the pandemic) than I have for the past three months. Damn No Frills. 😒

A couple of days ago, the number of confirmed cases of Covid-19 in town more than doubled in the past two days (from 5 to 11), and the mayor declared a state of emergency (though from what I’ve heard, it seems to be more about unlocking the emergency-funds loot-box access than anything else).

The strange thing is that despite the pandemic, there were still plenty of people out and about today, and not just out getting supplies, even just out for the joy of it. Maybe it was because it was a nice, warm, sunny day, or maybe it was because people are just dumb. It’s most likely the latter. ¬_¬

Free food?

When I got to the first bus-stop, I found a container of CoffeeMate on top of the garbage-can next to the bus stop. It was new and sealed, so I figured I’d take it. I like creamer in coffee and it’s almost $5 in store. 🤷 (Of course, it meant that I now had some extra baggage for my trip.)

Taking the bus during a pandemic

The 16 eventually came and I got on. When the pandemic started, the LTC made a change to segregate the bus, reserving the front third for the elderly and those with special-needs/prams; everyone else has to get on and off from the read door, so they aren’t collecting fare until the end of the month (yes, that means free bus rides… if you’re willing to sit in a sardine-can with possibly sick people). There were a few people on the bus during my trip, but fortunately, they kept sitting near the door, so there wasn’t really anyone near the seats at the back where I was sitting.

First stop: getting a key

I got off the bus and went to Home Hardware to use a coupon for a free key duplication which came at a good time because the stupid co-op wasted lots of money changing the front doors a couple of months ago for no reason whatsoever. 😒 While I waited for an employee, I mused at the sign saying that if customers look like they’re sick, they’ll be asked to leave. An old guy came and copied the key for me and took the coupon instead of sending me to the cashier, so I didn’t get a receipt in case the key doesn’t work (it did work, but I still needed the receipt to fill out a survey for a chance to win something). I thought it was odd that the old guy was working during a pandemic that kills old people. Before I left, I imagined being rich and how I’d ask him how much he makes and give him enough cash to cover a few days of work and tell him to stay home. Unfortunately I don’t have that kind of money. :-\

Wrong bus 🤦

Google Maps said to get on the 27 across the street from Shopper’s Drug-Mart, so I crossed the street and waited at the stop for the 27. It eventually came after 25 minutes. I got on and again, sat at the back seat. Moments later we drove past another 27 coming the other way. I realized I was on the right bus, but from the wrong side of the street.

The 27 went the complete opposite way I wanted to go. I wasted an hour because I didn’t see the stop on the other side of the street (which was also a little bit down the road, not just directly across the street), and also because my social-anxiety-disorder prevents me from drawing attention to myself, by for example, jumping up and pulling the cord to get off a stop or two away.

In the meantime, a bunch of people got on the bus in that extra hour and potentially exposed me to covid19 for nothing. Worse, because of my social-anxiety disorder, I kept worrying that the driver noticed that I was still on the bus and assuming I was going for a joy-ride during the pandemic.

Stereotypes exist for a reason

A day or two earlier, I had checked the websites for UWO and Fanshawe College and saw that both had been closed to staff and students and lessons were moved online. The only ones that should still be on campus anymore were only students who were not able to return home, and even then, they should only be in their dorms, not actually on campus, certainly not in classes. And yet, when we drove through UWO on one side of the route and near Fanshawe on the other end side, there were still a bunch of students coming and going. I couldn’t help but notice that all of them were either Chinese or Indian, every one of them. They were going to school, during a pandemic, on a Saturday, while the school was closed and locked down. They really leaned into the stereotypes. ¬_¬ Stupid young students exposing the town to a virus so that they can get in a few extra brownie points. 😒 But then, I guess they have to do that as part of their plan…

Perhaps not surprisingly, I also noticed that only the Chinese students were wearing masks while everybody was not. That’s been a pattern in general around the world and I’ve even seen some videos on YouTube that discussed it.

S.A.D. is crippling

Eventually, the bus got back to where I started, across from Shopper’s. From that point, it took only eight minutes to reach No-Frills. An eight-minute trip took 63 minutes for nothing; 55 minutes wasted for nothing. My SAD has caused countless problems in my life, and this was just the latest one.

I went to No-Frills, but first, I had to do something with the bottle of CoffeeMate. I figured I couldn’t just bring it in with me; that’s the reason I hate shopping by bus, because it means you can only go to one store, you can’t go in with bags full of purchases from another store. I thought about it the whole hour that I was on the bus. I figured I’d hide it somewhere and pick it up after I was done at No-Frills. I kept picturing the mall and trying to think of where I could hide it. I thought I could hide it somewhere outside of the mall, in the back, but when I got there, there were a surprising number of people around the mall and I didn’t feel comfortable walking around back, I assumed people would think it’s weird (I tend to overthink and assume a lot of things).

Instead, I went inside and towards the back of the mall. I considered going downstairs to see if there’s anywhere good I could stash it, but instead, I went to the bathroom. I washed my hands from the bus, and hid the bottle of creamer behind the garbage can. Yeah. 😐

No-Frills almost wasn’t horrible… for once ¬_¬

I then went to No-Frills and began my last shopping. I saw a girl there that looked familiar and I realized it was Makayla from one of the Meetup groups I’m in. She was at the check-out with her grandmother and left, and I realized that it had been four months since that meet-up, or in fact, any meet-up, and now, it would be months before another one. It was depressing because as much as my SAD makes me dislike being around other people, I was actually looking forward to the end of winter bringing new meet-ups and going out and re-connecting with the world (even if it means sitting quietly and slipping out as soon as it’s over). I feel like the world got screwed with this pandemic which happened just as a way to screw with me. ¬_¬

Anyway, I got almost all of the stuff I wanted to get for once, which was weird because for a few months before the pandemic, every time I went to No-Frills, the shelves were half-empty and they were always sold out of whatever items that were on sale that I went there to get, regardless of the time or day. I assume the only reason I was able to get the stuff I went there fore was because fewer people were shopping. That’s the bright side of this quarantine. (Though I wasn’t able to get any mayonnaise because it was all gone.)

Most importantly, I was able to use my voucher for chocolate-milk. A month or two earlier, I had gotten a 4L bag of chocolate-milk that was on sale for the same price as regular milk. After two or three days, it started to smell like a hospital (a bizarre thing that I’ve noticed with chocolate-milk in the past few years; it didn’t used to do that before). It’s hard to describe, but it the smell really does remind me of a hospital, be it bandages or gauze or antiseptic or whatever, it’s definite the smell of “hospital”. Worse, just a few more days after that, it started to taste like formaldehyde (not that I’ve tasted formaldehyde, but I have smelled it while doing fetal-pig dissection in high-school, and the smell and taste of the chocolate-milk reminded me of that). It was so bad, that even holding my nose didn’t work and I nearly threw up the last time I tried to drink it. It wasn’t even past the best-before date (let alone the expiry date, which few manufacturers bother putting on anymore). I complained about it (and asked why it’s like that now) and they sent me a voucher to get a replacement. (I specifically told them in the message that I was put off by it and afraid to get chocolate-milk now, I didn’t trust it anymore, so what good is a replacement voucher? 🤦 I guess that was the point, they could “do right” by me without it actually costing them anything. Well, I got a new bag anyway. (Update:I finished it without it smelling bad.) I didn’t however get a chance to use the coupon for sour-cream/cottage-cheese because they didn’t carry the brand the coupon was for. 🤷

I got my groceries and checked out. As I was bagging my stuff, I noticed there were two receipts left on the conveyor belt. I figured if whomever(s? 🤔) left them there didn’t want them, I’d take them so that I could do the surveys and use the codes on them to get a couple of extra chances to win some money/PC points. 🤷 (Unfortunately, when I got home, one of them was missing. Somehow it disappeared. 😕)

I then went back to the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of CoffeeMate which was still there (there had been at least one or two people who used the bathroom in the meantime, so it wasn’t a certainty that it was still there—but then, even if someone did see it, they probably didn’t want bathroom-creamer 😀).

Yes pain, no gain

Walking from No-Frills to the bus-stop was surprisingly uncomfortable. I’ve been lifting weights for a while, so I should have plenty of muscle-power, but the four bags of not-that-heavy groceries was killing me, particularly my shoulders. The problem was no the weight, but rather their volume; they were large enough that I couldn’t walk naturally while holding them at my side because they’d keep bumping into my legs, so I had to hold them out to the side which was hell on my shoulders. (Another reason I hate shopping by bus; you can only get two bags. 😒)

F the LTC, yeah, you know me 😒

I waited at the bus stop for 25 minutes. Because my schedule was ruined from the 55-minute mess, I had no idea when the next bus was coming, so it felt a lot longer. Fortunately, it was sunny and not too cold.

After the bus came, I got on and took the earphone out of one of my ears to make sure I could hear the stops so that I could ensure I got off at the right stop. I needed to get off the 25 and walk across the street and down the street and wait at a different stop for the 34 so that I could go home. It used to only take a single bus to go from very close to my house to No-Frills and back, but the stupid, idiotic, piece of garbage LTC changed the routes and schedules last year to accommodate the stupid, idiotic, piece of garbage students who pay $80 for an 8-month bus-pass then leave at the expense of residents who pay $81 per month all year round. Now, it takes two buses, twice as long, and a lot more walking and standing and waiting to get there and back, which is worst in the winter. (And now, I can’t even get the car documents and stuff sorted out so that I can drive, because everything is locked down. :-|)

So I got to the bus-stop at Glenora and crossed the street and waited for the 34. After 25 more minutes, the 25 came and I got on out of habit (like I said, I always used to take the 25 before). Once we passed the street that I was expecting to turn into, I realized I was on the wrong bus, and pulled the cord and got out.

This was at least two stops past the street I needed to catch the 34 on, and since it was out in the middle of nowhere, the stops were very far apart. There was no way I’d be able to walk all that way while carrying those bags of groceries. I gave up and waited for the 25 to take me back in the right direction, towards home (the 34 eventually showed up back at the other stop where I had been, far off in the distance).

While I waited for the 25, I decided to screw the 34 and just take the 25 to Adelaide and walk the extra 15 minutes to get home instead of waiting another 40 minutes for the next 34 to take me to a stop that’s a 5-minute walk from home.

So I waited for the 25. And waited. And waited. Two 25’s came by in the other direction (three if you count the one I was on) before the one in my direction finally came 40 minute later. What the actual hell‽ 🤨 How is that that three buses came in that direction on that route before a single one came in this direction? It makes no sense. The LTC is a friggin’ mess, and they can’t blame it on the pandemic, they’re always like this. 😒 Worse, it was past 5pm at this point, the sun was dipping in the sky, and it was windy. I was freezing by this point.

Eventually the 25 came and I stayed on it. I got off at Adelaide and started walking home. I figured I’d make up for the extra walking by getting a lottery ticket from Rexall on my way home. But, when I got to Rexall, it was closed. There was a note on the door saying that they’ve changed their hours due to the pandemic and were now closing at 6pm on Saturdays. It was 6:05pm. 🤦

The lottery ticket; or, making the least-worst of a worse situation

Despondent, frustrated, and angry, I walked the rest of the home. I still didn’t feel relaxed and ready to start the lock-in because the having to go out the next day to get the lottery ticket still weighed on my shoulders. I considered that maybe Sobey’s was still open so I could get the ticket there, but I thought that if it weren’t, then I’d be wasting another 10 minutes to walk there and back for nothing. But, as always, I figured that even if they’re closed, walking there and back wouldn’t be for nothing, it would be exercise. I have a tendency to dismiss things like that by chalking it up as forced exercise, which is good because it makes it less frustrating when I have to walk around and waste time, but also because voluntary exercise is difficult, so forced exercise like this isn’t unwelcome. I left the grocery bags on the floor and went to Sobey’s. They were open. I got the ticket.

As I was about to leave, I looked at the receipt and noticed it said $13 for alcohol. 🤨 I mentioned it and she gave me the correct receipt. I’ll be generous and chalk it up to the pandemic rather than general sloppiness. 🤷

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

I got home and put the groceries away.

I made myself a nice hot cup of coffee and relaxed, finally having gotten everything and done everything I had to do in order to hunker down for the pandemic. Finally. (Except I still hadn’t used the sour-cream coupon… ¬_¬ I realized I could have gotten the sour-cream from Sobey’s or Rexall, so I still have to go out on Sunday. 😕 Motherf-)

Anyway, I didn’t go on Sunday and won’t go on Monday or anytime soon; I don’t need it right now, and the coupon is good for 2.2 more months.

(Update: I later ended up going to Rexall to get my prescription and they didn’t have that brand, and went to Sobey’s as well to get milk (I don’t trust Rexall’s milk anymore after what happened a couple of months ago), and they didn’t have it either. I’m not sure if I can use the coupon at all; the only chance is if either Food Basics or Freshco happen to have a brand of cottage-cheese/sour-cream that the voucher covers, but I’m definitely not going to those anytime in the foreseeable future. 🤷)

Finally done

It’s time to finally unwind and try to make the most of being shut-in.

(Update: unfortunately, between having to watch YouTube videos literally from morning to night, and TV shows, I’m not actually feeling any different during the lock-down than any other time, so it feels wasted to me. :-\)

My not–Covid-19 cleared up!

One of the side-effects of the Covid-19 pandemic is that whenever anyone has any sort of issue, they can’t help but immediately assume the worst and jump to conclusions that they have contracted Covid-19. It’s just part of the paranoia that the pandemic has unleashed. The paranoia is so strong that it even affected me.

On Saturday, March 14, 2020, my alarm clock went off, so I hit the snooze and rolled over to stay in bed for nine more minutes (for some reason, my alarm clock’s snooze is set to nine minutes 🤔). As soon as I rolled over, I was washed over with a wave of horrible dizziness. I felt like the world was spinning and felt horribly nauseous.

Over the next week, I did some research and determined that:

  • It’s definitely not Covid-19 because dizziness, which I had, is not one of its symptoms, and conversely, I did not have either of the two key symptoms (fever and cough) that Covid-19 does have (if anything, I was ~0.5°C below normal—not low enough to be a concern, but still, clearly not a fever)
  • It’s one of three things. It could be an inner-ear infection, a sinus infection, or BPPV. I did the Dix–Hallpike test and it was absolutely positive; doing the move resulted in extreme dizziness and my eyes jumping all over the place, trying to get a fix on the world as it spun (in my case, the nystagmus was vertical instead of horizontal).

BPPV is really nasty. Imagine spinning around in a circle for a couple of minutes, then stopping. That sense of dizziness, nausea and vomiting, falling over, and inability to see because it looks like the world is spinning around you is the same vertigo that people with BPPV have, all the time. Imagine feeling like that all the time; it’s excruciating, and arguably worse than having chronic physical pain. 😵 🤢 🤮

The typical onset of BPPV is from 50-70 years old, but with my luck, it makes sense that I would get it early. Worse, the condition usually clears up after a few days to months, and may recur for some people. Again, with my luck, I fully expected it to last months and recur, if not just be a permanent thing I have to suffer with.

I wasn’t sure it was BPPV or an infection. Even with the Dix-Hallpike test, the only way to diagnose it, is to perform a differential-diagnosis to rule out other causes like an infection, which I couldn’t do. I considered going to the hospital to have them check, but with the pandemic, I knew that if I went, I would likely end up having to wait for many hours in the waiting room before being seen, and also increase my chances of contracting Covid-19, so I didn’t want to go. (To make things worse, the longer I avoided going, the more the ER would fill up and the more Covid-19 patients would end up there.) But, like I said, with my luck…

There are a few maneuvers and exercises that are supposed to help with BPPV, but they actually trigger the dizziness and nausea, so they were very undesirable and I kept delaying them as long as I could when I tried doing them. It’s as though a treatment for the pain of a broken arm is to punch the broken arm and cause it to hurt. 😕 Regardless, they didn’t work and I still had the condition.

I held out hope that maybe it was just an infection (preferably sinus over inner-ear since that’s easier to resolve, with fewer side-effects, and also, I did feel a pressure behind my nose and eyes, so it was a possibility). I ate a lot of onions and garlic and citrus and hugged a hot-water-bottle, huffed Vic’s VapoRub (I love that stuff, it’s so refreshing; I’m baffled that some people don’t like it 🤨), and pretty much every other home-remedy you can do for a cold/flu/infection/etc. in the hopes of clearing it up sooner.

Unfortunately, after 4-6 days, I was starting to lose hope of it clearing up and starting to worry that it was going to be chronic. I tried my best to avoid moving at all because any movement could trigger it, but even just stretching could cause it (that’s actually what caused one of the early episodes that caused me to really worry).

Every now and then, it would feel like it was over because I hadn’t felt dizzy in a while, and I crossed my fingers and hoped it was cleared up, but when I tested, it was still there. :-\

On Friday, March 20th, sometime in the afternoon, I felt like it had been a while (several hours) without an episode, so I cautiously did a test, and… nothing. I assumed I was too cautious and didn’t trigger it, so I tried again, and still nothing. I tried to convince myself that it was over, but I was too scared to believe it. But, it turned out to be true. It was over, it wasn’t happening anymore. After 6.5 days of agony, it really was over.

(Update: Whatever the condition was, it’s been over for two weeks now, and I’m desperately hoping it doesn’t return. The strange thing is that it’s been two weeks already but it doesn’t feel like it, and also, I already started taking for granted living without the horrible symptoms very soon after it cleared up instead of really enjoying being healthy and not miserable. 😕 I guess that’s normal; people who have near-death experiences say they feel changed and want to make the most of life, but that never lasts long, they go back to normal life pretty quickly. :-|)

Strange things I think of while brushing my teeth

It’s fascinating how the brain, and in particular, memory works. It’s interesting the way memories form and associate. This is the reason that every living thing is unique, even if they have the same DNA, because since they cannot occupy the same position in space at the same time, they must necessarily have different exposures to their senses, which leads to different experiences.

Something that I find amusing about my own memories is some of the stranger associations I make between disparate things. One thing in particular tends to trigger memories that to other people, without context would seem to be completely unrelated, that thing being brushing my teeth. There are at least two things that I often end up thinking about when I brush my teeth:

  • The People’s Court, Bugs Bunny, and Pornography

    I think it’s safe to assume that this is probably the strangest thing to associate with tooth-brushing, but it makes perfect sense to me.

    One day, a long time ago (much “longer ago” than the previous one), when I somewhere between 6-9 years old (I was still going to King’s Road, so it would have been grade 1-4), I didn’t go to school that morning because I had a dentist appointment around noon. I decided to brush my teeth before leaving. (I can’t recall if I had been brushing normally and wanted to add an extra one or if I’d kept skipping it and tried to cheat by brushing just before the appointment 🤷.)

    While I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth with the door open, I could hear the TV in the living room loud and clear (I don’t know if my mother was actually watching or if she was in the kitchen or something—and now I can never ask her. 😢) While I brushed for what must have been an exceptionally long time, I recall hearing pretty much the whole case. It was about a woman who was suing a video-store because she had rented a Bugs Bunny video for her son’s birthday, put the tape in the VCR in the basement where the kids were having a party, pushed play, then went upstairs, and when she came back down later, she was shocked to find that the video was actually a porno. (Many years later, I’d heard about other cases of people purposely switching tapes, but I think this one was a mistake.)

    If I recall correctly, the judge ended up ruling in her favor (because it was the store’s responsibility to check that the correct tape was returned) and ordered the store pay her some amount I can’t remember. So now, sometimes when I brush, I think of court, Bugs Bunny and porn. Strange combination.

  • The Goa’uld attack during the “Pretense” episode of Stargate SG-1

    A long time ago, I was watching the Stargate SG-1 episode “Pretense” in which SG-1 had to go to trial on the Tollan home-world because the Goa’uld Zipacna (Kevin Durand) was trying to get them to rule to allow the symbiote Klor’el to stay in Skaara’s body. While I was watching the episode, I was flossing my teeth as thoroughly as I could, wary of accidentally pressing too hard and cutting my gums or loosening a tooth. I then paused during the scene in which the Goa’uld began their attack and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then rinse with mouthwash. Then I continued the episode. Ever since then, I sometimes remember the scene of the Goa’uld ships attacking while I brush and wince about my gums bleeding.

  • Michael’s disability in “The Injury” episode of The Office (US)

    In the 12th episode of season two of the American remake of The Office, Michael has the property-manager, Billy Merchant who uses a wheelchair give a talk to the office about what it’s like to live with a disability and to describe some of the difficulties he has to deal with. He asks how long it takes him to do a simple task like brushing his teeth (which of course, being in a wheelchair has essentially no bearing on other than perhaps reaching the sink), and Billy says it takes him 30 seconds, to which Michael laments that it’s three times what it takes him, causing Jim to squint at the thought that Michael spends only 10 seconds brushing. Sometimes I think of this and wonder how even 30 seconds is enough when it usually takes me at least three times that.

Memories are weird.

Resolving to be more productive

We only get a few end-of-decade New Year’s(es?) so it’s not unreasonable to think of them as special. I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions, but this time I will. I have two main resolutions to make:

  • Pursue a relationship
    Now that I’m officially older than the Earth itself (long story), finding someone to love and share life with has suddenly and magically forced itself to the top of my priority list. I started looking a couple of years ago, but I’m running out of time and options, so I have to kick things into high gear and make every effort I can. I tried waiting for someone to fall in my lap, but the closest I got was someone lightly bumping into me on the bus, but that wasn’t a meet-cute. (To be fair, it’s not like I didn’t do anything, I did pretty much everything I could, but there’s still some stuff I put off. 🤷) One thing I need to put more effort into for this goal is getting in shape, which is also a general resolution, but I’ve already been working (dieting and exercising) hard at that for a couple of years with little success, so I’m not sure how much harder I can try on that front. Well, here’s hoping…
  • Be more productive
    I have far too many things to do and not nearly enough time for it all. I don’t exactly sit around all day, staring at the wall, but I definitely don’t spend my time as well as I could or wish I did. I want to start fighting harder against my OCD (and FOMO and other neuroses) to help eschew things that I don’t think are good uses of my time to free it up to spend on more productive things (including a few that would help make me more money or just be more fullfilled). I just wish there were a good medication that actually worked and helped make it easier instead of having do it the hard way as usual.

There’s also other goals, but those are just regular to-do items as opposed to specific resolutions.

In this spirit, I am setting to kick off the second goal by making a post to each of the sub-blogs today (this post counts for this one).

Unfortunately, by making these plans, I have pretty much guaranteed failure because exactly 0.00% of my plans come to fruition, something always messes them up (I don’t know why I still bother ever making plans 🤦). So forget you saw anything, I didn’t write this. ¬_¬