An ode to my town prison

Sung to the tune of Starships “We Built This City”

I hate this city
I hate this city
I hate this city,
with all my soul

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The Ultimate Insult

Regardless of the culture or language, most insults and expletives tend to revolve around gross stuff like bodily waste, sexual acts, and familial insults, especially of mothers.

By that logic, the ultimate insult is: I had sex with your mother’s poop! 🍆🤱💩

Wait a second… 🤔 😕

Maybe some things are less than the sum of their parts. 🤷

Movie-Watching Law

Imagine if you will, a law that mandates that you must watch several movies every day, it’s like work, but you don’t get paid. You have to sit there and watch movies, no matter what, it’s obligatory. It doesn’t matter if you have other things to do or aren’t in the mood or don’t like the movies, you have to watch them. Moreover, you must sit there and only watch the movies, you can’t multitask other things like work, eating, exercise, play, or anything else while you watch the movies, you must sit still and watch the movies and nothing else. You don’t really get any choice in what movies you watch, you can try to request a specific movie, but it’s usually a random selection of movies that may or may not be relevant to you. The movies may be sad or scary or boring, but you have to watch whatever you’re given. You might get away with skipping them for a day or two once in a while, or just watching one or two, but the more you do, the worse the punishment will be when you get caught. On top of all this, you forget all about the movies as soon as they’re over, so you can’t even enjoy ones that were good.

I’ve got bad news; this law already exists, in the twilight zone (and the real world). It’s called sleep. 😴

Rod Serling