Rogers is literally killing me!

Rogers is almost certainly the single worst company on Earth (I welcome comparisons to other horrible companies like Google, Apple, and Microsoft).

Unfortunately 2013 has been worse than ever. This past year, Rogers has gone from being a horrible company to legitimately malicious and evil. They have both increased their incompetence drastically, and also made a purposeful and concerted effort to attack, abuse, and take advantage of customers.

Sadly, despite being emotions, stress and anxiety can indeed cause tangible, physical health damages. I have always found that bizarre that thoughts and feelings can hurt you, but I am experiencing it first hand. I have never been in such poor health in my entire life. Even though I’ve had a a lot of unpleasantness and stress and anxiety since finishing school and being dumped in the “real world” (almost all due to financial problems), and even though I went through a nasty bout of clinical depression in 2006 (which I only saw it for what it was several years later), I have never been too bad. However thanks to Rogers, this year my health has been going down the toilet.

Since Rogers began its pogrom against non-affluent customers, I have had a lot of health problems including but not limited to:

  • Blepharospasms (constant twitching of the—left—eyelid)
  • Palpitations (frequent heartbeat irregularities like skips and double-beats)
  • Chest pains and tightness
  • Blurry and tunnel vision
  • Dizziness
  • Excessive biting and chewing of my lips, tongue, and cheeks
  • Tremors of hands, torso, etc.
  • Stomach aches and ulcers
  • Headaches and migranes
  • Excessive picking and tearing of my fingers and cuticles
  • Long-lasting (over a month) wet, constructive cough and noises when breathing

It’s only a matter of time until the stress and anxiety of being a Rogers customer causes something fatal. Unfortunately the Canadian telecom industry is essentially a monopoly, so there are no decent alternatives which leaves us stuck with Rogers for a while. (Rogers is discontinuing their analog cable TV service which is the one and only reason to stay with them. Once they’ve removed their only advantage, we have absolutely no reason to stay with them and while I have heard plenty of complaints about Bell—customers call them BHell—there is nothing worst than Rogers, so even Bell’s awfulness would be a welcome change.)

Rogers is literally killing me. I just wish I had a way to fight back, but it’s hard to kill a company (though I can hope that the greedy, selfish people who make decisions and profit from customer-abuse can get cancer or AIDS or something).

I broke my freakin’ tooth!

Stupid Bulk Barn. My mother made a coffee-bundt cake last week. I cut off a slice and took a bite and bam! I bit into what seems to be a walnut shell. My front tooth twisted and broke. It hurt like hell! Stupid Bulk Barn; why the hell didn’t they properly clear out the shells from their crushed walnuts? It’s not even one little piece that slipped through; we checked some more and found lots of these shell pieces, some small, some large. Obviously they crushed a whole walnut and let it go through, shell and all. Dammit!

I Think I Tore My Shoulder

The tail-end of this television week is light. Last night had almost nothing on and tonight is equally light. I had big plans for these two nights and was hoping to catch up on some other things to reduce my large work-load.

Unfortunately something happened last night. I still have no idea what, but the result was a massive, horrible, shooting, throbbing pain in my right shoulder. At first, I barely noticed it and thought it was just a bit of momentary pain from sitting badly (for example, a pinched nerve in my arm caused by pressing it against the chair’s arm-“rest”). However the pain continued to shoot and throb and eventually I came to the realization that this was not a regular, fleeting pain, but something new, something serious.

Having no other choice, I just ignored it (as best I could). However, this quickly turned out to be nigh on impossible. The pain increased to the point that I could not ignore and became the overarching feature of the night. It eventually plateaued and leveled out (I guess it had reached the maximum possible), so again, having no recourse, I chose to just continue working and watching.

After a while, having a continuous ache in my shoulder was too much to bear and I could not concentrate on what I was doing anymore. I gave in and took the laptop up so that I could continue watching my Supernatural marathon in bed. However even that soon proved too much and I could not concentrate on the show. I noticed that every time I would doze off for a moment, I didn’t feel the pain (as much), so I shut down and tried to just sleep.

Sadly, sleep would not come. This is painfully typical; I doze off when trying to stay awake to watch something, but when I give up and turn it off, as the Persian saying says, “the sleep/drowsiness jumps from my head”. Sleep was made all the more elusive due to the pain.

I tried tossing and turning, pulling my arm, pushing it, twisting it, and generally looking for a position in which it would not hurt so that I could just hold it like that from then on. Unfortunately there was no such position; my shoulder always hurt. I found that moving it was the closest thing to a restful position; that is, whenever I moved it into a new position, it wouldn’t hurt as much during the move, but once it came to a stop, the pain would resurge. I even tried sleeping on my arm in an attempt to cut off the circulation and put it to sleep, but even that didn’t help (mostly because the pain was in my shoulder, not my arm).

Then I tried something else. (This part gets a little wonky because trying to describe such abstract things for which humans generally have no words is a Herculean task, even for wordsmiths.) I figured I would give mind-over-matter a shot and attempted to just think the pain away. Whenever it would shoot, I would try to mentally absorb the pain. This actually, nearly worked. It’s hard to describe it, but the normal pain had a sort of texture/color/vibration/feel to it. Whenever I would “meditate the pain”, it would change in a way and the closest that I can come to describing it is to say that it “turned blue”.

It really did dull the pain a little, but like trying to trim your waistline by holding in your stomach or strengthening the groin by doing Kegle excercises, it only works if you continually do it without stopping. This requires constantly focusing on the task and that is just impossible, especially when you are trying to sleep. I quickly found that it was untenable and I could not keep doing it for every throb every few seconds.

I did manage to fall asleep, but I kept waking up every 30 or so minutes. Over the seven hours, I woke up in pain at least a dozen times. They say that you don’t feel pain when you are asleep, but then why did I keep dreaming that I was in pain and had a broken arm and such? Every time I woke up, I would wish to fall asleep and stay asleep until the morning and for the night to be over so that I can go to the hospital.

The last time that I woke up was at 4:26am. The next time I dozed off, I stayed asleep until 7am when I had to get up to give my cat her insulin. At that point, I was afraid of getting up and moving my arm because it didn’t seem to be hurting. I hesitatingly got up and went about the day. While my shoulder did throb a slight bit and I could feel the pain gurgling under the surface, it never actually flared up again.

I always thought that I could take pain if I had to and could use my mind to ignore it if I had no other choice. I still think that if it is a pain due to external damage like a cut or stab, then I could. However an internal pain like this one is the kind that “aches to your bones” like nausea from a cold or “withdrawl pain”; and that is a pain that nobody can tolerate.

I still don’t know what happened or what caused it. My best guess is that it happened after taking the garbage out that night (about an hour before the pain started). This makes sense because I held the 20LB+ bag of used kitty-litter in my right hand, so it could have stretched my arm and torn a muscle or pinched a nerve or something. Of course I have taken out the garbage and carried heavy things countless times before (including last week), so why it would all of a sudden do so much damage is a mystery. I’m just glad that it got better so fast.

No Sick-Free Year this Year

I was hoping to go a year without ever getting sick in the winter. This winter is not exactly over, but I had not yet gotten a cold, so I was hopeful. Unfortunately the streak came to an end last night. Even though because of my SAD, I almost never go out and avoid people when I do, my mother not only goes out several times per week, but she is around lots of old people when she does, so she can easily bring home some bugs.

I was fine yesterday morning, but by the afternoon I was feeling nauseous, stiff, and chilly. I immediately recognized these as the symptoms I always get from the common cold. There’s lost of treatments for the cold that people recommend, so I combined a bunch of them:

  • I made myself a cup of noodle soup (mostly just warm water).
  • I had a small piece of bread with it so that I could eat a bunch of onion and garlic (antibiotics).
  • I had an orange and popped a vitamin-C tablet.
  • I wrapped myself in sweaters, a robe, and piled up the hot-water bottles.
  • I went to bed early to get as much sleep as possible.

It worked. The next morning I was feeling fine and have been all day.

I’ll have to try again next year. At least I haven’t (yet?) had a runny nose this winter.