One big act, four bigger effects

I just called Distributel to sign up for services and it was a massive objective in my life.

Three weeks ago, the Rogers bill arrived. Apparently Rogers thinks contracts are one-way, whereby the customer has to pay a huge early-cancellation fee, while Rogers is free to keep raising the prices, so I was not surprised that it had gone up yet again. What I was surprised was how much they jacked up the price: $60. The previous rate was already too high, but the higher rate is outright infeasible; I just can’t afford to give an extra $60 every month (especially for subpar services, one of which is not used at all), and certainly not to Rogers of all companies. 🤮

For the past three weeks, I’ve researched alternative providers and compiled a list. Unfortunately for the most part, all the extra (bs) upfront fees I’d have to pay (installation, activation, etc.) would completely destroy any savings that the monthly bill would provide. I’d have to be a customer for two years before simply breaking even, let alone saving any money. 😒

Almost two weeks ago, I saw a Distributel ad that seemed too good to be true. It said they’d provide TV, Internet, and home-phone (I still have no compelling use for a mobile-phone) for less than what Rogers charges, and it includes hardware rental and no fees. I checked their site, but there was nothing I could do from there and had to call. Any other person would have called immediately, but not me, no, between my social-anxiety disorder, avoidant-personality disorder, paranoia, and other neuroses, I put it off until literally the last day (before the Rogers bill was due). Thankfully, I was able to finish everything I was doing today during the day, and the sun came out for a peek to lift my spirits and bolster me, and I made the call.

After about 30 minutes, I had officially signed up for all of the services, in my name, for less money, and Distributel will take care of cancelling the Rogers services. This was huge. In fact, it was a big deal for five reasons:

  • This was the first time I signed up for anything in my own name. The Rogers account was still in my mother’s name and after she died, between my social-anxiety disorder and my extreme discomfort with change, it was easier to just keep paying the bills instead of calling to cancel and sign up for myself. Signing your name to a contract is a major life milestone, and this was my first time doing that (technically, it’s not; I signed up for a credit card in my first year in university, and had a bank account and jobs, and stuff, but still, this was a big step).
  • In order to make this change, I had to push myself hard and overcome my social-anxiety disorder and avoidant-personality disorder enough to make the call. I did the usual tricks of breathing exercises, a bit of physical activity, and the like, and the sun certainly helped. Too bad this sort of thing only works sometimes and only for brief things like this; it’s not helpful for ongoing day-to-day struggles.
  • By signing up for the services in my own name, I took a step to moving forward (I hate the phrase “moving on”) with my life after my mother died. It’s been more than 1.5 years, but it’s still hard. It goes up and down, but I feel that this step is significant and hope it will help.
  • And of course, there’s the money. The new service is cheaper than what Rogers was charging even before they jacked up the price, so I might actually be able to have a food budget again. ¬_¬

I’m sure a lot of people (most even) would think little of this; they’d snigger at extolling triumph over what they would consider to be a trifling affair because it would be a trivial task for them, but that just shows how much of an ordeal it is and how much of an obstacle even such a banal errand as this can be for some.

Detractors aside, today was a big day for me. Last week was a big day as well.

Now, aside from the perpetual issues with this damn co-op, the only big (read massive) step I need to take is to find someone so that I don’t die alone. I think I am more than half-way to that goal, but the next step I need to take towards it is a biggie and I have been putting it off for over a week. Hopefully this victory will bolster me enough to take a chance…

Not so happy thanks-birthday 😒

In a few minutes, I turn 40. Regardless of any 40 is the new 30 nonsense that people might say, the truth is that 40 is still 40, it’s still middle-aged and it’s still officially old. In a few minutes, my odds of finding someone plummet and my odds of dying alone skyrocket. There’s nothing happy about this birthday.

And to make things worse, to really rub it in and add insult to injury, this year, my birthday falls on thanksgiving. ¬_¬ What’s to be thankful for? My mother is dead. My cats are dead. The car is dead. There’s plenty of other problems. And I’m turning 40 all alone. Gee, thanks sooo much. 🙄

Well, it’s almost time. There’s just two minutes left. I’m not going to watch the clock roll over like new-year’s eve. I’m going to watch tonight’s TV shows and hope it hooks me enough to distract me and make me forget for a bit…